“Blue Christmas” sermon, December 15, 2013
Larry Budner
“I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.”
Most of us recognize that famous opening line of the best Christmas special ever, “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” and many of us here today feel the same: everyone around is excited about Christmas, or at least happy anticipating how much they will enjoy Christmas after the stress of preparing for it; but the joy is lacking, and we feel out of step.
Some of us here may be in mourning, as we have lost several beloved members of the congregation recently, and others may be suffering from severe depression. However, even for these people, there can be an aspect of their reaction to the Christmas season that seems confusing and out of step.
Lucy, the amateur psychiatrist, tells Charlie Brown that what he needs is “involvement,” and gives him the directing role in the Christmas pageant. As a real psychiatrist, I think Lucy’s prescription is a bit premature.
I would have Charlie Brown look closely at his sentence, “I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.” The idea that there is one correct way which people are supposed to feel at this time of year is a source of great suffering to him: not only is he unhappy, but he believes that he is also a failure at the task of “getting into the Christmas spirit,” which makes him even more unhappy.
Charlie Brown’s experience illustrates an important part of how negative moods develop: we have negative feelings, and then our thoughts and judgments make our feelings worse. We think that we are no good, unlovable, and ineffectual. An important way in which therapists help people is by teaching them to pay attention to the present moment, non-judgmentally, to things as they are. Patients learn to just observe their moods, feelings, and thoughts, not holding on to negative judgments or insisting that things be different from what they are at that moment. Frequently, this relieves the suffering brought on by our own judgments, and lets new perspectives and new ways of engaging the world appear. It’s a tremendous relief when we can trust our gut feelings and instincts to choose a healthy path when the world around us isn’t leading us any place we really want to go.
A great example of this is when Charlie Brown’s heart goes out to the spindly, unattractive Christmas tree in the lot. He sees some potential there and decides to trust his instinct and buy it, instead of the shiny aluminum tree his friends are expecting him to bring back to the pageant.
Charlie Brown is a child who has endured loneliness, rejection, and negative judgments from his peers for much of his childhood. He has a great strength, though, which is his tremendous compassion and sensitivity to others who are rejected and isolated. It doesn’t take a degree in psychology to recognize that Charlie Brown is taking care of a part of himself at the same time he chooses the rejected tree. He stands up to the ridicule of his peers because he has cared for himself; he has lived up to his highest values and made himself whole by refusing to be part of a system that judges by external appearance and creates groups of insiders and outsiders.
I would suggest that we quiet ourselves this season through prayer, meditation, listening to music, or any other way that works for you, so that you can see what surprising person or thing in the world draws your heart. I would like to suggest that you, also, trust yourself. It may be that your unhappiness is a symptom of depression, in which case medical or psychological treatment may be a gift from God. But it may also be true that unhappiness at this time of year reflects the deepest part of you, that part of your soul which is a part of God, telling you that things are not right, either within you or in the world around you. It could be that God is inviting you to be in touch with parts of yourself at are hidden away, rejected, hurt or vulnerable, and which need to be reconciled with the rest of you and with the world. It could also be that God is inviting you to be in touch with the parts of creation which are also suffering. There are many around us who are suffering from illness, loneliness, poverty, addictions, family problems, and feelings of meaninglessness and hopelessness.
Think of the great Christmas stories, as well, about people who were made whole when they allowed their heart to go out to things and people around them. Think of the Christmas gospel, and its message of hope for a people suffering under the heavy hand of empire. Think of Ebenezer Scrooge, whose interest in the crippled Tiny Tim came from his sense of his own crippled humanity, and the tiny remnant of compassion which he possessed by virtue of the great compassion showed him by his sister who loved him and rescued him from a mean father and loneliness at school. Think, even, of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, where little Cindy Lou Who, in her innocence and trust, awakens in the Grinch his own remnant of social relatedness underneath decades of isolation and mistrust.
Isn’t there something this season that grabs your attention? Something that arouses your compassion like the tree did to Charlie Brown? Perhaps this Christmas, you should stop trying to have the Christmas the world says you should have, and accept that a “Blue Christmas” may be an invitation and an opportunity. Maybe Lucy was right after all: what you need is involvement. For a little while, don’t try to change your emotions. Sit with them, pondering the paradox that whatever negative emotion you are experiencing may lead you a response which will bring you a measure of wholeness and peace. And then look around. You may have a chance to be a blessing and a Christmas miracle to those around you.
Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown, and thank you.
Amen.
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